Exile and Kingdom

Mercy…….

Krishnendu Sanyal — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 04:19:28 +0000

Disclaimer #1: The following few lines are in no way sarcastic, insulting or funny….In Guzaarish Hrithik Roshan aks for mercy killing as he has been paralysed for quite a while. Kudos to Hrithik for accepting such a challenging role and huge respect to people who suffers from this condition but still has the courage to move on with life.

Disclaimer #2: The rest of the article is sarcastic, funny and insulting in every way possible….
Does Hrithik REALLY LOOK like somebody who wants to die? I mean, even as a paraplegic he looks better than 10 Zayed Khans……not a comparison…..Okay, 10 Emraan Hashmis put together. Even though he didn’t work out for 12 effing years, he still had muscles bigger then KRK’s head (KRK’s head is huge coz of all the gas in it). Plus, all throughout the the movie, he had Ash’s cleavage for company. Not a bad company to have during times of distress.

But lets get real guys. The man who needed to be cast in this role should be somebody who REALLY LOOK like, he wants to die. I’ll make it easy, for future references on movies on death(for any reason). Here are some ‘actors’ who would fit in for such roles.

1. Mimoh
Mimoh probably would have applied for mercy killing the day he realized that his parents were not making some sort of noise but ‘MIMOH’ was actually his name. His application gained more ground when he realized that the yellow thing on his head was not some electrical wiring but was ACTUALLY his HAIR. The final nail in the coffin (see…how I smartly inserted another death related joke? See? See?) was when he realized all through out his debut film, ‘Jimmy’, the audience was laughing not because of his comic timing but coz of his face? On screen, we mean……or do we?

2. Fardeen Khan
Fardeen Khan’s biggest reason for not wanting to live is the fact, that instead of his wife, its he who got accidentally pregnant. And in some way the pregnancy did something to his face. On top of that he couldn’t even act, before the weight of the world dropped on his….well face. It is quite obvious that he will be super happy to do the role but we won’t be able to see the satisfaction that he will get coz of the….you know…..face situation.

3. Tusshar Kapoor
Tusshar Kapoor holds the unique distinction of being the winner of Biggest Loser Jeetega, even though he didn’t participate in it. His claim-to-fame is acting in roles where he was invisible (Tusshar Kapoor in and as GAYAB! Hahhaha!), was required to keep his mouth shut (He was such a big hit with his mouth shut in Golmaal that they made sure he didn’t speak in two more movies), or was required to complete the background furniture (in all other movies). The audience would love to see him in a role where apart from his mouth, even the rest of him can’t move about to cause further embarrassment to human civilization.

4. Ashmit Patel
Ever since everyone saw (we know what you did that summer!), in the iconic words of Dolly Bindra, Ashmit Patel’s ‘performance’ in his XXX-MMS, Ashmit Patel’s life “went for a toss”. “One after the other, life shot him with a dart, and like a broken arrow, he fell apart.”

No, that’s not OUR lame joke on you. That’s Patel’s lame joke on the world. If you STILL don’t know what we are talking about, search for Patel’s musical rap(e) attempt, ‘Apni kahani apni zubaani’ on the internet. After seeing the video, you’ll understand why Patel would want to kill himself, and honestly, we’d not hold it against you, if you’d want to kill yourself too.

5. Archana Puran Singh
Oh wait… we totally forgot that the paralysis ends at the neck… you can’t paralyse that laughter. And oh wait… We were supposed to be talking about men here. (Deliberate pause to imply what needs to be implied) …Oh wait.

Why Only Sheila’s Jawani??

Krishnendu Sanyal — Sat, 09 Apr 2011 04:23:00 +0000

EVERYONE and their grandmothers have heard ‘Sheila Ki Jawani’ by now. In my opinion the grandmothers might have heard it more carefully coz they are the only ones who have that name these days (Sheila Dixit…hmmm….hmmm…..). Which poses a question, why is ‘Sheila Ki Jawani’ shot on Katrina Kaif? What kind of name is ‘Sheila’, ‘Sheila Ki Jawani’ or what kind of surname is ‘Ki Jawani’? (Sindhi friends……….don’t mind) How could anyone have a surname like that.

Interval in the post for joke on Katrina Kaif: Katrina Kaif in Sheila Ki Jawani is like a mannequin dancing. She has the perfect mannequin body…….but she has also has the perfect mannequin face!! When you hear the song and see Katrina’s bod, you go, ‘WOAH Jawani (Yes, YOU go………..I’ve heard you). But then you see Katrina’s face and say, ‘THIS is SHEILA’. I think Katrina is too pretty to carry her own body. Yes, I say intelligent things like that sometimes.

Interval over, back to article: So keeping all the limitations in mind here are the grandmothers whose Jawanis need to be personified…….

1. Baa ki jawani: Remember Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Baa-hua karti thi? Remember Baa? The superwoman, whose age at the end of 10 generation leaps, would have been some 250 years, but who STILL didn’t have grey hair? That’s the kind of jawani we’re talking about! And can’t you totally imagine Baa shaking it at one of the various family functions/Diwali special/New Year special/extra marital affair special/funeral special/generation leap special?

2. Shobhaa ki jawani: She may be as old as independent India, but Shobhaa De keeps her spirit (and mind) totally young. That’s a cryptic sentence to say that she has written about many dirty things (that make aunties her age go ‘hawww’). Three cheers (and three x’s) for Shobhaa ki jawani of mind!

3. Pratibha ki jawani: Pratibha Patil may look 200 years old, yes, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be a badass! Apart from being the first woman President of India, she also holds the record for being the oldest woman. No wait, that doesn’t sound right. … Oh yeah, she holds the record for being the oldest woman… TO fly in a combat jet at a speed close to supersonic speed. Can YOUR grandma do that? CAN SHE?

4. Rekha ki jawani: Call it botox, or call it yoga. Okay let’s call it yoga… to avoid lawsuits. No one may know the REAL secret of Rekha ki jawani (it’s yoga), but whatever it is (it’s yoga), it sure has helped Rekha maintain her skin, face, skin, body, skin, and everything else on her face, body and skin (it’s yoga). It’s got to be yoga, right? (It’s yoga)

What do you guys think? Katrina’s jawani? Or Baa’s? Or are there any other grandmas that you dream of that we’ve forgotten? (That’s very disturbing on your part, by the way)

What Women Want.NOT

Krishnendu Sanyal — Sun, 27 Mar 2011 14:24:35 +0000

I am shocked by the number of times I’ve heard women listing ‘sense of humor’ as the topmost quality they want in the man of their dreams, over qualities that seems obvious-beautiful face, not Chetan Bhagat, and etc etc. I am ‘shocked’ because from first hand experience, I can assure you, they are lying.

I realized very early, that ‘love at first sight’ can only happen if you look like Hrithik Roshan (this doesn’t apply to HARMAN BAWEJA), or if you are standing really, really far way from the girl and if, well, the girl likes to fall in love with people who are really far away. Unfortunately I don’t look like Hrithik Roshan and I am very recognizable from really really far away, so I realized ‘Love at first sight’ is not the thing for me. So I decided to entice women with my superhuman stock of ‘Knock Knock’ jokes.

But that was in vain too. I spent an entire childhood trying to make girls laugh at my jokes but failed miserably… because, let’s face it, the joke kind-of dies at ‘Knock Knock?’ ‘Get lost, loser!’. But I didn’t give up. I had to try and get girls to relate ‘funny’ with my personality, and not just my looks. So I’d prepare jokes at home, memorize them in my superhero brain, and then, during an ongoing conversation with a hot girl, try and intelligently, shrewdly and carefully take the conversation in the direction of the topic I had a joke prepared on. Something like this:

Me: Hey, hot girl.

Hot girl: *Puke*

Me: Oh, speaking of which, did you hear this joke about racism, religion, chauvinism, ugly people and anything else that would be sure to offend you in general?

Hot girl: *Complains to teacher*

What Women Want. NOT.
It took me more failures than Uday Chopra to understand that being called funny by a girl, is NO.4 on the list of things girls calls guys, whom they don’t want to be their boyfriend, after ‘bhaiyya’, ‘NICE PERSON’ and a ‘MANAGEMENT GRAD’ (All of which I soon ended up becoming TOGETHER, by the way).
Here’s a fact: I was reading a magazine’s ‘Most Desirable Men’ list (I had bought the magazine because of the bikini girl on its cover and NOT because of this list, I swear)… and guess what I found on it? Names of allll 5-6 and above-pack guys. Guess who I DIDN’T find on it? Johnny Lever. Rajpal Yadav. Archana Puran Singh. ME.

Seriously, even if you take the most not good looking guys who have something else going for them (good body, good relatives, good profession) and compare them with the funniest guys with similar perks, the results are obvious:

Abhishek Bachchan – Not funny. Is married to AISHWARYA RAI.

Vs

Govinda – Very funny. Not married to Aishwarya Rai.

Harman Baweja – Not funny. Dated PRIYANKA CHOPRA.

Vs

Navjot Singh Siddhu – Very funny. Came close to dating Shekhar Suman.

Emraan Hashmi – Not funny. Kissed MANY HOT GIRLS.

Vs

Ritesh Deshmukh – Very funny. Was offered Dostana.

And that’s the truth of the matter, people. Let’s not lie to the world and admit it once and for all – Funny guys in males are the equivalent of BHARTIYA NARIS in females. Everyone wants to marry them, but no one wants to have sex with them.

Sigh.

No, We can’t be Friends. Please Die!

Krishnendu Sanyal — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 10:35:12 +0000

Break Ke Baad may not be the best film to have come out this year (that’s because HISSS came out this year), but Deepika Padukone elevates it to a must-watch for two reasons. One, she is a GODDESS and we love her and worship her dimples and wish our girlfriends looked just like her!!!!!!!!! And two, her character in the film is EXACTLY how girls, who all boys hate, are. Fondly known as, ‘b**ch’.

The story of Break Ke Baad, if you unfortunately suffer from the IQ of Rahul Mahajan and have still not figured out, is the story of a couple that breaks up and tries to deal with what happens after that. And what happens after that is the story of EVERY couple. The guy still stays in love, while the girl turns into a b**ch.

No, no. We are not being sexist here (we are only sexist in articles about Justin Bieber… mostly because we are confused about the sex). It’s a general rule – even when there is an equal girl to boy ratio, the likelihood of a girl getting a boyfriend is >>>>>>>>> that of a boy getting a girlfriend (unless that girl is Justin Bieber… see what we meant?). That gives girls an unfair higher power over boys (that they then wield during the time they are making the creatives for their Women’s Equality slogans). This power also comes into play once the break up happens.

Sleeping (or not) with the devil

And that’s pretty much what Break Ke Baad showcases – how girls turn from sweet, adorable, seemingly-naïve and cute Barbie dolls into heartless, b**chy, Dolly Bindra-versions of the devil that enjoy ripping your heart out and then play table tennis with it. The devil that “just wants to be friends” and who feels that “ANY GIRL would be lucky” to have us (which is a polite way of saying they want our souls).

We’d imagine the same has happened with EVERY one of us guys. Girls breaking up with us and then doing the puppy eyes-thing and begging us to “please be friends” because they cannot live without us. But of course, they can’t live WITH us, can they? And obviously, guys, the gullible creatures we are, can’t say no, and so, we agree, even though we’d rather get hit in the nuts.

And that’s where Break Ke Baad falters too. It’s like every other real life situation where the guy gives in to the all-powerful ex-girlfriend who wants to suck our blood… “but only in a friendly manner”. For once, we expected the guy (we are talking about Imran Khan… yes, underneath that face, there IS a guy… apparently) to give it back to the b**ch! “No, we can’t be friends, you evil, heart-ripping female re-incarnation of Hitler, you modern-day Bindu, you Kumolika! Please die.”

Reality bites

But of course, no guy’s been brave enough to say that and survive. No one’s usually even been brave enough to THINK that. While upar-upar se guys are saying, ‘Yes, of course we’ll be friends forever, of COURSE *puts cool shades on*’, in our heads we are thinking, “PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE TAKE ME BACK!!!!!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!! BAA-WAA-HAA *crying* BAA WAA HAA. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!! I’LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! WASH YOUR FEET, MANICURE YOUR NAILS AND EAT YOUR LEFTOVERS!! TAKE ME BAAAAAACK!”

But thankfully, we hold that back (well, at least, some of us do). And act all cool outside, while dying little by little inside. Until everything is dead (well, ALMOST everything – the cool shades live on, you know!). That’s pretty much what happens in Break Ke Baad too. And for that, we hope the movie works, so people get to know the face-2 of those two-faced girls. And the plight of those poor guys… of US poor guys.

[Originally posted in MTV blogs]

Advantages of Being Single-II (Top-10)

Krishnendu Sanyal — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 06:44:24 +0000

This note is basically for men, but I guess most of it can apply to all single persons out there.
No matter where you look, from movies to magazine ads, men are always being told that they need a woman to be happy. And while the company of a lady does have its boons, there are benefits to flying solo as well.
The single life is replete with liberties that you could not imagine. Here are the top 10 reasons you should consider taking a hiatus from the relationship arena and remain single.

10. You don’t have to tolerate moodiness & nagging

Fellas, how many times have you been in the doghouse because your woman was livid for reasons you still don’t understand? Relish not being the target of her inexplicable mood swings, and the calm that comes when there’s no nagging. When you wake up on the couch, you’ll know it’s because you chose to pass out there.

9. You can gain weight without worrying

Just as you can spend more time buffing up at the gym, you can also just chill and let yourself go for a little while. When you’re not on the market, you don’t have to worry about looking like an Adonis every day. Go ahead and wear that threadbare Metallica T-shirt and those holey boxers. Enjoy the pleasure of occasionally being a slob. Just don’t go so far that you can’t trim down in time for when you decide to start hunting.

8. You can appreciate your independence

You can use your newfound free time for solitary fun, as well as self-improvement. Being single forces you to do things for yourself, like cook, do laundry and tidy up your pad. Being skilled at many things makes you a more complete, well-rounded person — a great card to hold when you decide to reenter the dating market.
Furthermore, independence is a great trait, and women will likely notice that you’re not the needy, clingy type.

7. You can control your finances

If you’ve ever been in a serious relationship, you know that, sooner or later, a good chunk of your budget goes into steady lady-maintenance costs. Bachelorhood gives you full financial freedom, and you never have to worry about paying for dinner or buying presents.
However, understand that this does not mean that you will save money — on the contrary; you might be spending more on partying, buying drinks, dressing well, and so on. But at least you are the master of every single buck you spend.

6. You have more time for activities

When you’re single, you have no reason to sit around doing nothing. Want to harden your body at the gym? Play a new instrument? How about watch the Die Hard trilogy for the 11th time? Who’s stopping you?
You can even use the time that you’d spend pleasing a demanding girlfriend to hang with the boys. After all, isn’t neglecting your friends one of the biggest sacrifices of couplehood?
Look forward to being spontaneous, not having to answer to anyone and flirting like crazy…

5. You don’t have to deal with another’s personal habits

You used to cringe when she used your razor to shave her legs, and the scented candles she burned in every room made you sick. Now there’s no irritating habits to tolerate. You can sleep peacefully without her snoring and hog all the blankets without a care in the world. You have no one to pick up after but yourself. Give your patience a well-deserved break and live in unflustered.

4. You can be spontaneous

Being single lets your break out of the numbing cycle of routine. Be daring while you can. Go on a fishing trip with your crew at the drop of a hat. Push it further and head out on a wild Spring Break surrounded by gorgeous college women. Not only will you be doing something out of the ordinary, you can do it without double-checking with someone else first. This is the height of freedom.

3. You can focus on your career

Life is a juggling act in which you have to keep the many elements aloft, paying equal attention to each one. But if you let one drop, you can channel your forces to the remaining parts. In the absence of a relationship, you’ll have much more time to devote to your work. You can put in those extra hours on a project to impress your boss, and even take on something else. And you don’t have to worry about sacrificing your love life, as you’ll be single and vigorous.

2. You can be your own boss

Relationships are synonymous with compromise. You eventually have to sacrifice something you really like — a football game or extra cheese on your pizza — for the good of the pair. Use your single time to treat yourself a little more. In small doses, selfishness is good for the soul.
Being your own boss also means answering to no one. You went to a strip club? You got the scent of some woman’s perfume all over your clothes? Enjoy not having to explain your actions.

1. You can flirt as you please

Nothing is worse than that nagging voice in your head telling you that you shouldn’t be talking to this killer brunette in front of you. Being single gives you the complete freedom to flirt with whomever you want, whenever you want.
It also gives you the chance to sharpen your mojo so that, before you know it, you’ll be the master player on your block. Since you’re unattached, take this opportunity to master the art of seduction, and who knows what rewards you’ll reap.

The bright side of solitude
Everything has a good side; you just have to learn how to spot it. Society places too much importance on finding a mate, something your hormones are quick to enforce. The next time you get that pesky feeling that you have to be with someone, remember these 10 points, and you’ll savor the joys .

The Loner

Krishnendu Sanyal — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 06:36:16 +0000

When I’m alone, I’m alone with myself,
But alone may not be what it seems.
For myself can be trusted to always be there
And never makes fun of my dreams.

But myself knows myself and accepts what it finds,
And makes no demands on my soul.
So I cling to that heart where the best of me lives,
for that clinging makes sure that’s it’s whole.

I peel away slowly the armor I wear,
That armor protects all that’s me.
And the me that’s inside is fragile indeed,
It’s been hidden where no one can see.

When I hold onto me, it’s not that I’m cold,
It’s not that I don’t want to share.
It’s all that I’ve learned and the grip of my mind
That makes any sharing so rare.

My ego is tender, it’s what makes me, me.
I hide it behind a closed door.
I open that door just a crack at a time,
And only a crack, never more.

How to impress a girl?

Krishnendu Sanyal — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 06:29:02 +0000

Now this one is tricky! The tips might work and might not but they are more or less safe. My Experience tells me they will(hopefully).

Well, after seeing a beautiful girl, every guy is haunted by the same question-How to impress this girl? Till the time he doesn’t know the way out, the task appears really demanding. To reveal the truth, the art of impressing girls has the simple fact, that girls are not impressed by fake things. Most guys are likely to act smart or be like someone else just to impress girls, yet they never succeed with this policy. The solution to this question is to be original so as to impress your girl. Read further to get acquainted with some tips for impressing girls.

* Good work starts with good hygiene. Usually guys are careless about personal hygiene but girls are really watchful about this. So, be well-groomed and wear clean clothes to attract your girl.
* Have a good attitude because girls don’t like guys who flaunt. Be modest and don’t attempt to impress everyone. Guys, slightly inclined towards good humor, are liked by girls.
* Show respect towards everyone and give them their space; this will fetch your respect from them too. Especially with girls, showing respect works even better.
* Have healthy conversations and don’t speak too much before girls. Speak in moderation; the other person should not feel that you’re not interested and also don’t speak in excess so that he/she doesn’t get time to speak.
* Prefer talking on topics of common interest. Girls don’t like guys who talk about themselves only. Show interest in her speech. Ask her about her interests like hobbies, favorite books, music, etc. If she starts asking you about yours, speak briefly and again focus on her interests.
* Try to flirt. If you both make an eye contact, just pass a smile. Perhaps she will get blushed or start looking away, but don’t react. Remember you don’t have to stare her down. If she likes you, she will definitely give glances.
* Always respect her opinion and ideas, and don’t criticize her. Give her compliments and never talk anything disgraceful to her friends.
* Be romantic, but not in excess. If you’ve been dating for a month, you can attempt a romantic gesture. For example, hold her hand while looking in her eyes or get down on your knees to bow her.
* Start speaking with her casually. If you don’t know the girl, start friendly conversation. Ask for the time, and praise her watch.
* Make an effort to get her attention to your plus points and away from negative points, remember to be original.
* Don’t tell her straightaway that you like her. Ask her out. If she refuses, don’t take any tensions. You can change the style and say ‘Oh! Actually we friends are planning to go on a dinner; I thought that you might like to join us”.
* Don’t get stick to her. Give her some time and like this, you’ll definitely get her attention.

Review:I hate Luv Storys

Krishnendu Sanyal — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 15:43:32 +0000

Boy hates mushy love stories, doesn’t believe in love and all those things that come along with it whereas the girl is a big believer in romance and is living her own perfect love story with a childhood pal. Boy meets this girl and don’t get along but eventually love strikes!

First for the girl but the boy rejects it explaining that he only thought of her as a friend. Soon love strikes him too but by then it is too late. He tries to woo her back and ends up doing all those mushy things that he hated in the first place.

Punit Malhotra’s debut directorial venture, I Hate Luv Storys works well when it tries to poke fun at these elements but eventually falls in the same clichéd trap when it comes to delivering as a film.

I Hate Luv Storys’ main lead character, J (Imran Khan) tries to poke fun of all the mush and romance ideas that generate from Bollywood. Ironically, working with Bollywood’s King of mush, filmmaker Veer Kapoor, he barely manages to keep a straight face about all that’s happening around him.

A complete opposite of J, Simran (Sonam) joins Veer Kapoor’s production as a set designer. As expected clashes take place between the two but eventually they end up becoming good friends.

Gradually she ends up falling for, Mr. Wrong at the risk of dumping her loyal perfect Mr. Right Raj (Sammir). J rebuffs her. Hurt, she tries to get over her fixation for J and decides to concentrate on her relationship with Raj.

But by then J has fallen head over heels in love with Simran and wants her back. How he tries to use all the tricks from the clichéd Bollywood references and much more to woo Simran back, forms the rest of the film.

First timer, Punit delivers big when it comes to giving the film a fresh treatment in terms of narrative and style and laces it with some extremely laugh out loud one liners. But as a writer, he falls short of offering anything new when it comes to the script.

Agreed, it tries to take a funny look at the romance seen through the typical eyes of Bollywood, by doing a parody of sorts on filmmakers.

He includes his own producer Karan Johar, Sanjay Leela Bhansali and even Aditya Chopra in it but one fails to understand why Punit doesn’t give a new perspective about the same in his own film given the resources he had in hand.

The jovial first half has its moments but the second half tends to drag, especially since you can predict well in advance how and where it is all heading. But, full marks to his actors including the periphery ones, who keep it rocking with their perfect acts.

Vishal and Shekhar’s chart topping music also aids IHLS and lifts it above the average. The innovative production design works well with the theme of the film. Ayananka Bose continues to surprise with camerawork with each passing film. She has captured the New Zealand locales superbly.

Imran Khan, after a lackluster performances in Kidnap and Luck is back in top form and very much at ease playing a rom com lead. He adds more fun to his character with his body language and facial expressions.

Sonam Kapoor is aptly cast as the dreamy lover girl and wows in her more contemporary city gal avatar unlike her first two films Saawariya and Delhi 6 which presented her in a more ethnic way.

The chemistry between this fresh pairing is amazing. Kavin Dave as Imran’s office colleague is hilariously good. The graffiti on his Tees make you LOL as well. Sammir Dattani delivers his lines monotonously.

Perhaps he was asked to appear as a boring boy friend. But he does it well. Sameer Soni is fun with his take on Karan Johar and so is Aamir Ali as the hot shot romantic star of the film he is shooting. Bruna Abdullah is smoking hot in her special appearance as Imran’s flirt interest.

IHLS is fun till it lasts but once you come out of the cinema hall you realize that it fails to make an impact as a romantic comedy thanks to the feeling of déjà vu. IHLS works as pure popcorn fun.

The Big Cricket Debate

Krishnendu Sanyal — Sun, 16 May 2010 09:57:27 +0000

I have been asked by some of my friends that why don’t I post articles on Cricket as it is my favourite subject. Well, after the T20 World Cup debacle, I am writing this piece in retaliation of some pathetic journalism by so called Journalists.

Before our team departed for the t20 World Cup, I said to my friends that India is not going to make it to the semis as we don’t have a wicket-taking bowler and our best batsmen are out of form and Sehwag was injured. Unfortunately my prediction was right. But what went on after India’s performance was pathetic journalism by some news channels and some baseless reports in the newspapers. Indian Media played an important part in people blaming everything but our cricketing skills. Some of the points that came out through there ‘discussion’ was ‘blame the IPL’, ‘blame late night parties’, ‘sack the captain’.

We Indians have a problem, that we cannot accept that we weren’t good enough and we start finding a scapegoat for our inept performance. This year IPL and late night parties has become the scapegoat. I don’t buy this Idea that IPL was responsible for our performances in the World Cup. They say that the team was exhausted and couldn’t perform. Well if the player weren’t playing in the IPL they would have been playing in one more stupid tri-series involving Sri Lanka. 8 out of the top 10 run getters in this t20 World Cup played in this years IPL. So only Indians weren’t the only one’s playing the IPL. So to say that IPL was a cause for Indian Team’s poor performance is preposterous to say the least. One more are the late night parties. I just don’t want to comment on such a poor argument. Players who wanted to party, they went there and some players didn’t.

Another thing was the accusation of poor selection of the team. There were some calls that were surprising but lets accept it, we didn’t left out Bradman, Sobers or Akram nor we benched Bradman or Sobers. There will be some players who unluckily miss out and there are some tough decisions to be taken but I can’t see Robina Uthappa winning us the World Cup if he played instead of Rohit Sharma.

On the 14th May Edition of TOI there was a report by Sumit Mukherjee that M S Dhoni will be sacked. I really can’t understand how an editor of such a respected daily allow such baseless and unsubstantiated report to become the main news ‘story’ in the first page of the newspaper? If M S Dhoni is sacked then it will put Indian Cricket 5 years back. He is in my opinion one of the best captains of this country if not the best. Under his leadership India has become the No.1 Test Side and the 2nd best One Day side in the World. Judging him on the basis of a t20 tournament will be rubbish to say the least. His record as a Captain speaks for itself but I want to concentrate on 2 aspects that I like the most. He doesn’t make faces or does Kathakali when there is a misfield and he is the most straight talking captain I have seen in Indian Cricket. He doesn’t do things that Indian Captains are famous for like leaking stories in the media, washing dirty linen in press-conferences etc. Moreover he has earned the respect of his whole team.

So why not discuss the main reason that we have failed as a team?

Lets face the facts. We are one of the best test and ODI side and our performances in those format of the game in the last 2-3 years has been brilliant. As a t20 side we are average to say the least.

Ever good t20 side has a good strike bowler or as Captain say, a ‘go to’ bowler. Do we have that? Ashish Nehra- Takes wickets but can be very expensive. Zaheer-A brlliant test bowler, Harbhajan-was wicketless in the tournament. We don’t have a bowler that can take wickets and in t20 format that is a necessity.

Our batting is our main power but when a Sehwag is injured, Gambhir out of form and a struggling Yuvraj then there will be problems. Then our age-old problem of short pitch bowls. In a ODI match a batsman gets some time to weather the storm but in a t20 format you have to hit most of the bowls and most Indian Batsman are poor hookers and pullers of a Cricket ball. Out batsman need to sort out this problem area and find a way to adapt. By the way I was impressed with Raina because in the West Indies game everybody was struggling but he scored a 25 ball 37 and tried to weather the storm.

Our fielding was very very average and fitness of some players was lot to be desired for.Take a look at the pictures of Yuvraj Singh, you will understand that how he has gone several notches down in his fitness.

Finally some poor decisions of our captain. Most important thing that experts and ‘fans’ like us have is the advantage of hindsight. Just think if Misbah would have connected the ball well in the 2007 final and then we wouldn’t be talking about Dhoni now. A Captain never knows that his move is going to work or not. Dhoni is an instinctive captain. I will rather have a captain going by his instincts than somebody who goes by consensus and if something goes wrong then he will conveniently pass the buck to someone else. We weren’t a good enough team in this format and even if he would have got some of his decision right still I don’t think it would have made a huge difference. Our case was not that marginal that one right Captaincy decision would have made a huge difference. So let us back him till the 2011 World Cup and then if things don’t work out we may have a case against him. Right now, he is the best man for the job.

We fans celebrate and put our cricketers on a super human pedestals when they win but when we lose, we torn them down. Let us not over-react. Let us not forget we are one of the best teams in 2 out of the 3 formats of the game. Let us back them.

Thoughts of a confused mind

Krishnendu Sanyal — Thu, 13 May 2010 09:07:12 +0000

This is my first post of this calendar year and I accept I have been very late. I have been thinking of what to write as nothing has really invigorated my urge to write something or to say no topic has really inspired me to write a post this year. This post will be quite confusing as I will write about my thoughts about myself and some of my friends and in a very random way, so kindly bear.

My transformation from a nice bloke to an ‘akru’ bloke has been in a fast lane this year. I am becoming more tougher and steelier as each day goes by and my Mother sometimes complain about my non-existent social life and my indifference to a lot of things. Frankly I have reached a position where I cannot stop this transformation. However few of my friends will never accept that I am ‘akru’ but most people will. I accept that I lead a double life. I present myself as a hard nosed and arrogant Krishnendu Sanyal to the world and a nice bloke infront of my close aides. This is something I have accepted as a part of my life and I move on with it.

One of my closest friends got a girl-friend for himself and it was nothing short of a miracle in my eyes. However, the girl is one of the nicest girls I ever talked to and I am happy for both of them.

Although I am happy for my friend but I still fail to understand love. Its the most complicated human emotion and I don’t get it. I am always sceptical about things that I don’t understand that explains my non-existent love life. This year I have authored one of the greatest unromantic quotes(collars up), ‘The Hopeless Unromantic, find an iota of romance in me and I will find you the big-foot.’ This quote, I think explains a lot about my thoughts on love.